Panera’s Semi-Super Souffle and Starbucks Backorder on Bars

For a long time now, I’ve been telling any manager at Panera who dares to disturb me in the morning to see how everything is, that they’ve been leaving money on the table for several years now by serving only big, sugary, carbo-loaded baked goods in the mornings without offering some items that have some protein in them, like an egg sandwich or something. Panera has the coffee I want at 7 am, but that’s about it, until recently. While I can’t say honestly that I’ve given up carbs altogether, I’m always looking to balance my carbohydrate-protein consumption, which is hardest to do at breakfast time when you’re in a hurry. So I’ve been telling the managers at Panera for quite some time that they HAVE to talk to headquarters about catching up with the egg sandwich deal which practically every fast-food place offers these days (but their coffee stinks). Of course, I shouldn’t just pick on Panera. Starbucks has had the same problem until recently, when it introduced a peanut-butter Penza bar that has 14 grams of protein in it – practically a Balance Bar. Apparently a lot of other protein-carbohydrate balancers have figured that out, because I found out a couple of weeks ago that those peanut-butter Penza bars WON’T BE BACK IN STORES UNTIL AFTER SEPTEMBER 30!. What’s the dealeo here, guys? How do you expect us to live off the abundance of Mocha bars and cranberry bars that only have about 2g of protein in them. And I’m not the only person who sees something lacking at Starbucks (and Panera) in the morning. In Chicago, on the corner of Clark and Deming in Lincoln Park, I was up in the neighborhood a day before the Chicago Marathon last October, and I saw many people going to Einstein’s Bagels on the northwest corner to get a breakfast sandwich (no beverage) and then crossing over to the southeast corner and going into the Starbucks to buy coffee. So tell me there isn’t a gaping hole here. Anyway, back to Panera. So, I was real excited a couple of weeks ago when I saw these little pastry things that had green stuff and other nonsweet-looking things in the center of them. Of course, to my discerning eye, they look suspiciously like quiche. But of course, if Panera called them that, men would categorically ignore them and refuse to eat them. But Souffle? Well, no one has written a famous book called “Real Men Don’t Eat Souffle” so we all guess it must be okay, for now. So, to the taste of them.... Well, they look really good and unique, which is terribly tough to do these days, when we’ve seen it all and heard it all. I always figured that was part of the reason why it took so long to see a response to the savory (protein-rich) breakfast opportunity, because Panera didn’t want to come out with ANOTHER breakfast biscuit sandwich, or croissant, etc. The pastry crust, like many of Panera’s pastry items, is really good and flaky and buttery. It’s rich with tasty cheese and bacon (or spinach), and is sure to please all the ladies who come in and want an indulgent treat that has a few hints of savory flavor to it. For the guys, though, I have to say that, unless these little souffles get supersized and filled with a higher filling-to-crust ratio that includes more eggs (don’t even show me the nutritionals on this thing), then I don’t see a lot of guys eating them. The only problem with that is that they already cost $3, and I don’t think it’s a good value. So the thought of a $5 one doesn’t appeal so much to me. So there you are. If you’re a chick who doesn’t want another pastry filled with gooey, sweet, nutty, chocolatey, fruity, creamy stuff, then the Souffle is perfect for you. If you’re a guy, keep knocking off those great Breakfast Bowls at Hardee’s and en-JOY!] Christopher Wolf

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